What a decade can do

Posted on | January 3, 2010 | 10 Comments

I haven’t had much chance for reflection in the last couple weeks – though there’s a lot of material there from this last year and last decade… So I’m starting a little late with some initial thoughts. I can’t help myself from a little reflection and self-analysis, the new year always does this to me. I don’t make many annual resolutions any more, but I do use it as a chance to reflect and re-evaluate my general goals – and re-direct if necessary. Our decade was bookended by our move to North Carolina and a sweet furry boy who entered our life that year… and who we finally had to let go of just prior to the holidays this year. These years have been punctuated by some pretty formative events. We entered the 2000’s with very different priorities and a very different view of what our lives would be like. Children, suburban bliss, beautiful home, solid corporate careers… Pretty typical, really. Perfect for a lot of people. But I would say that we are much happier having realized that pursuing dreams that weren’t actually our own was a bit… well, depressing. And futile.

We entered the decade blessed by a lack of difficult experiences (I would have argued that at the time, but really it’s just that my definition of “difficult” has changed dramatically – it’s all relative, isn’t it?) I had never experienced very deep personal loss… We continued to experience far more good fortune than we’re due… Our move here and all that has followed has been pretty serendipitous. We made some pretty bad decisions. Actually moving here was a pretty fantastically bad financial decision… But in all other aspects worked out well, we don’t regret it… We bought a house (another crap financial decision… Seemed like the “thing to do” at the time…)

I voted for the first time (and lost all faith in the process – 2000). Continued to vote and had some of my hope restored (2008).

I stopped thinking about trying yoga and actually did it (2000 ish…) And after fits and starts over the first several years it’s a pretty permanent and necessary part of my life now. Even though I still struggle at times with practicing consistently, the gaps are getting closer and closer together. Eventually they’ll meet in the middle.

About halfway through the decade, we lost a wonderful woman and a good friend, and with the loss came an enormous shift in perspective. It changed the way that we view everything. Mortality has a way of bringing what’s important to light and sadly, it was a lesson we needed to learn.

I learned to knit. And could write pages and pages about that and the changes that followed  -much needed creative exercise, a new coping mechanism, new skills, wonderful friendships, boatloads of inspiration… the impact of this one thing in my life continues to grow and grow.

Family & friends moved to and from NC. We did some good things. We walked a lot (360 miles) and raised an awful lot of money over the last 6 years. We hiked (but not enough!) We got online. We both were published doing some things we enjoy and have made our creative efforts a priority in our lives. We started a backyard veggie garden. We learned to cook (really cook…) We traveled a tiny bit. We saw an awful lot of amazing live music (seriously, what a decade… I could do a retrospective of favorite shows!) I learned to love bluegrass unabashedly. We did the best job we knew how in taking care of the furry children that took the place in our hearts and minds of real ones…  We had some pretty crazy ups and downs with all three of them over the decade, particularly Mathias over the last 3 years. We did the best we knew how to do, and that’s what I’m holding onto (along with the memories).

We amassed a mountain of debt early in the decade (building on our still staggering student loans), stagnated through the latter part with enormous vet bills, house maintenance, etc. And finally turned things around just in the last year – One-third of the way to being completely, 100% debt free. In one year. It has required an awful lot of time and energy – focus and change of lifestyle – and luck in keeping our jobs in the current economy. I can’t believe how fortunate we’ve been… And we were even able to do some fun things in the process without getting too far off track… If there’s one thing we’ve learned it’s that NO fun is a sure recipe for disaster for us! And we’ve built some great habits that have helped enormously, as long as our luck continues to hold.

I think we appreciate our good fortune so much more than we did before… Someone posted on Twitter the other day about summing up the decade in one word. I think for me it would be “learn” – and I think this will continue to be the main theme well into the next decade if not my entire life. We’ve learned that even our simple acts are really decisions, and we try to treat them as such and act consciously as much as possible. My definitions of many things have changed substantially as I’ve looked outward more – “real” food, quality time, success, challenges. Knowing what is really important to me (and what is NOT) has been the basis of so many changes… And now that we have all that firmly established, life looks a lot different.

I am a little sad that most of the last year went undocumented aside from the big events despite our growing love of photography… The day to day of playing with food, yarn, and websites, caring for our sick boy and other pets, spending time with friends and family, celebrating little wins like sending another big payment toward our debt… Our “team meetings” on the back porch steps with coffee and breakfast. Picking vegetables from the garden.

As I write this, I recognize that the constant in all this has been my best friend, Tad. And that is the most fortunate thing, to have this amazing partner. I know that I am missing some big things in my reflection here. Normally I would have been thinking on this for weeks! But that’s ok. I like seeing even in this list the progress… the imperfections… the intentions (the hits and the misses)… and the hope/knowledge that we’ll continue to grow in such positive ways. I couldn’t bring myself to dig through a decade of pictures though… Not quite ready for that! I will pull some from 2009 though, and the knitting photos, of course.

Thank you for reading, for your friendship and your support… Wishing you a full, wonderful and meaningful next year and decade!

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Now playing: Sarah Jarosz – Can’t Hide
via FoxyTunes

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